Hugh Gallagher emailed me!
It appeared in the May issue of Literary Cavalcade, a magazine of contemporary fiction and student writing published by Scholastic in New York City. Gallagher, who was eighteen at the time, grew up in Newtown Square, Pennsylvania, and attended New York University that fall.
In order for the Admissions staff of our college to get to know you, the applicant, better we ask that you answer the following question: Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped to define you as a person?
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention.
I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes.
I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets.
I am the subject of numerous documentaries. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.
I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.
I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket.
I have performed covert operations for the CIA.
I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami.Funny College Application Essay.
Search the site GO. Whimsy. Urban Legends Rumors & Hoaxes This is an actual essay written by a college applicant to NYU in response to this question: This satirical essay — or a version of it — was written in by high school student Hugh Gallagher, who entered it in the humor category of the.
Now too many people might try to copy Hugh and that isnt going to work but the key is USE YOUR HEAD and do something out of the ordinary with your essay. Don't just follow the rules or the prompt. Hugh probably applied to more schools than just NYU.
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Cuervo edgar allan poe poema analysis essay, hugh gallagher college essay nyu stern. GET AN ESSAY OR ANY OTHER HOMEWORK WRITING HELP FOR A FAIR. The person was applying to. The Ultimate College Application Essay This is an essay written by Hugh Gallagher when applying to New York University.
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